Grillmater Brandon "Lee" Long was at it again this fall. After being dutifully awakened by Minister of Propaganda and Bratmeister Brian Swetland, he arrived to find the state of the grills provided by the Illini Grove completely unacceptable. Fortunately, there was time to retrieve the Grillmaster's Weber, and the Picnic was saved. The Grillmaster was particularly thrilled to point out that no Vegiburgers were consumed. "It just goes to show," he pointed out, "that programmers are omnivores too." Homecoming Queen Amy Ryan even went so far as to swallow a bee whole.
The picnic got off to a slow start, as the people arriving were the ones who had just happened to read the last minute email by Supreme Court nominee Ben Gross and changed out of their boxers just for this event. Others blamed it on the lack of Mountain Dew. By 1:00pm, the picnic had attained critical mass, and volleyball and frisbee were well underway. While in pursuit of "Joe Gross' Super-Cool Frisbee," Jeremy Hicks demonstrated that even the most skilled Computer Scientist can still fall prey to the wiley picnic table. As for the sand volleyball, world-renown Terraformer David Jeske was quoted saying, "This sand is the worst I've seen this side of the Urals." SigDave was heard saying "Acorns fully hurt." Don't worry if you don't understand, few people do.
Not even the timely arrival of the University Police could stifle the fun. The officers politely refused any burgers, citing University statutes prohibiting the possession of red meat while on duty.
As the burgers started coming off the grill, general queuing theory humour ensued. It was a disgusting descent into complete geekdom, and will not be encouraged in this article.
At this time, the access time of Librarian Jill Smith's earrings is still being hotly debated.